Kody Hanner
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If everyone hates it, do you have to finish a curriculum?
A question I get asked a lot is whether or not I make my kids finish a curriculum that they don’t love, and the short answer… No!
But before you show up with the torches and pitchforks about not making my kids finish a curriculum, I want to explain. I do not think a child should have to stick with a curriculum that is not the right learning style, wastes time (mine or theirs), or causes tears of frustration (not defiance). I also think that there is merit to requiring follow-through.
Are you are on the fence about starting to homeschool?
The joy of homeschooling is that you aren’t answering to anyone (even if you’re schooling through a program). Therefore, no one’s mental health is worth the completion of a certain curriculum out of obligation. That does not mean they aren’t still required to master the topic or learn the material. There may just be a better way of reaching that goal.
How I learned to be ok with not making my kids finish a curriculum.
As it turns out, when we first started homeschooling eight years ago, I was a nightmare. I had never wanted to homeschool; I did not know anyone who homeschooled, and it was supposed to be temporary. So, I was at a complete loss on how even to get started! We very much took on the model of school at home. Unfortunately, in some ways, we had to embrace this approach due to the structure that some of our neurodivergent kids required.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that there can be structure without rigidity. That our children can be given grace when struggling to learn. Isn’t that the reason we opted out of public school? The key is that grace doesn’t have to be a weakness. We aren’t gentle parents and try not to be authoritative parents (but who doesn’t have their moments of both?). I talk about this a lot in my book Raising Self-Sufficient Kids.
“When you take the free will out of education, it becomes schooling.”
Read the definition of “schooling” and decide if that is what you want for your kids: Educated or trained in a specified activity or in a particular way. Who’s way?
Coming to terms with not finishing a curriculum
I am not a quitter. And I have had a few overreaching family members highly questioning our choices. So, coming to terms with “failure” was a hard pill to swallow for me, as it turns out. That was until two things happened for me.
First, I heard the quote, “don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t go to for advice.” This was the most life-changing for me. I was exhausted trying to live up to someone else’s standards or getting input on topics they knew nothing about.
Secondly, after having that first load off my back, it was much easier for me to pick out which curriculums kids were showing defiant behaviors over vs. the curriculum genuinely being a back fit.
How do you determine if a curriculum is a bad fit or if your child just plain doesn’t want to do the work?
Is the curriculum at the correct level?
I always check to see if the issue is from an academic misplacement or a homeschool-style misplacement. At one point, I went through a system systematically, and now I can usually run through the steps based on observation.
- Homeschool curriculums will often say Level 1 or Year 1, and a handful will say Grade 1. This doesn’t always mean 1st grade level. Especially because many don’t follow common core standards (that’s a good thing), but it will make it seem as though your kids are behind a similarly aged public school kid. That is not usually the case. Homeschoolers learn differently on purpose. To assess this, most core curriculums have a placement test available on their website to confirm what level your child should be at. If they don’t place where you think they should, that’s ok. Either consider that the curriculum might have a different grade level than schools, or you just need to appreciate the one-on-one time you get to catch your child up.
- Some curriculum do not
have an assessment for grade level because it doesn’t fit that style. My curriculum, Homestead Science, does not because I base it more heavily on maturity and experience. If they aren’t ready yet but have always lived on a farm, I always suggest picking the higher level and having the parents do it with them. If you are using a core curriculum like science, history, or scripture that doesn’t have a placement test make sure that your child’s reading and comprehension are at the same level of the book. There are many free and paid online tests you can get to assess them, Homeschool.com has an article with more information. Or simply have them read out loud then answer some questions, then you read another section out loud to them and ask questions.
I would much rather have my kids working at a lower level, but actually learning and retaining the information and building confidence, than have them at grade level and fail.
Does the curriculum fit your learning style?
Every kid and every family has different learning styles. Again, the beauty of homeschooling. But if the whole family is doing project based learning, while one child really needs nature learning. You will never get anywhere. Be sure to research many different learning styles and which curriculums model those.
- Do they just need a break? Everyone needs a break sometimes. Try skipping that one curriculum for the week. Or all curriculum for a week. Let their brains rest. This does not mean sitting in front of a screen all week where you’re going to see an influx of behavioral problems once it is time to start school again. This means free reading, physical activity, or new experiences. Then try again and see what your results are.
- Do they understand the subject matter outside of the curriculum? Try to have a conversation about what they are learning. This means taking some time to read a few lessons so that you can guide the conversation. Because let’s face it, as soon as you ask them what they learned today, they are going to clam up or give one-word answers. So aim for questions like, “I loved learning about the Revolutionary War. What do you find most fascinating.” Or “I’m balancing my checkbook, want to practice decimals with me?”
- Test their ability and enthusiasm with a different curriculum. There are tons of free downloadable resources and free samples of curriculum online to try different styles. You can watch movies or YouTubes on the topics. Or try to experience them in real life. You might see a new level of comprehension with a new curriculum or with their old one after a new learning experience.
Is it behavioral? You know your child. You probably don’t need me to point out their rebellion. But if you’re new to educating at home, the signs may not be as clear. I’m going to list a few things that might be some curriculum resistance red flags
- Only doing some parts and skipping others
- Hiding work
- Damaging work
- Pretending to do work
- Rushing through work with excessive mistakes
- Excessive bathroom breaks
- Tears
- Tantrums
- Feeling down or dumb
- Excessive squirminess
Consequently, all of these things can also be signs of other things as well. So consider how many hours you are doing school each day, any learning disabilities your child may have, or if they are just having an off phase.
If you can’t pinpoint anything, don’t feel like you have to finish that curriculum.
What does not finishing a curriculum look like in our house?
With my younger kids, I am not really strict about what we are doing at all. We dabble in a little of everything, often with free downloads, used curriculum, reading, and experiences. They probably don’t know if they finish something half of the time. If there is one that they particularly love, I 100% follow through to give them that sense of accomplishment. Trust me, the proud smiles on their faces are worth every moment!
With my grade school kids, I encourage their input on curriculums they like, and then they are expected to finish them (with one exception I will explain in a minute).
With my older middle and high school kids, we discuss and agree on subjects or in-person classes together. They choose their curriculum for the year (with guidance), and completion is expected. This is how college or a job would work, right?
Now for the exception of finishing a curriculum
Every year, around Christmas break, we decide if there is a curriculum that is making everyone crazy! Do I hate to grade it? Do they hate doing? Is it consuming everyone’s time with little to no results? VETO!
As a family, we can veto one curriculum a year at the halfway point. Because guess what? You wouldn’t stay at a job that crushed your soul, either. But you would stick it out until you have a new plan as well.
System of not finishing a curriculum
As a result, this system has worked great for several years now, allowing our kids to feel more relaxed going into the school year. They are excited about their curriculum choices and don’t feel the pressure of forcing themselves to like a curriculum Or the pressure for us parents to get them to like it.
Additionally, the kids also have more ownership in their education, which builds a ton of autonomy! They are more committed to the follow-through and prouder of themselves when they complete it.
Comment below with a time you didn’t finish a curriculum!
If you’re looking for a new science or elective for your kids, you may want to consider Homestead Science.
Students learn about real-life activities that are associated with modern homesteading. Through the text, budgeting, research, videos, and projects, students will have a better understanding of what it takes to pursue a life of self-sufficiency.
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